Marriage: Conforming Couples to Christ’s Image

Word from the Center
Written By LCRL Staff

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Love is not a red, red rose at all. It is work — hard, hard work. It endures sacrifice and pain for the sake of someone else. It subdues one’s own desires, opinions and needs, being patient and kind, not resentful or angry or insisting on one’s own rights or way. It does not live for pleasure and satisfaction or self-actualization. Christian love is defined by Christ and follows His example as confessed in 1 Corinthians 13. Christian love lives entirely for someone else.

In Christological terms, holy marriage and Christian love are not the empty tomb or the return of Christ in glory. They are Gethsemane and Golgotha. This is how God loved the world: He sent His only Son to the sorrows of the cross. This also is how husbands and wives, and all Christians, love one another. They build up the beloved at their own expense.

This might sound rather grim. In a way it is. But what is pleasant to a mature Christian is different from what is pleasant to a child. In holy marriage, we give up the childish ways of Robert Burns and the romantics. We settle into the mature view that what God says is good even when it displeases our fallen flesh. We rejoice not only in the forgiveness of sins and the redemption Christ won for us, but also in the reality that God’s grace gives us a part in His kingdom. He makes us husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. He is conforming us to His image, teaching and enabling us to love one another as He has loved us. That is a great privilege and honor and a true participation in the work of God on earth. That is love worth celebrating.

The Rev. David H. Petersen serves Redeemer Lutheran Church, Fort Wayne, Ind. This article is reprinted with permission of The Lutheran Witness. Click to read more.

 Be Informed
Hear Robyn Chambers, vice president of Advocacy for Children at Focus on the Family, talk about protecting mothers and their babies at pregnancy resource centers.

 Be Equipped
Stay up to date on a new poll that takes a look at sanctity of life issues. Dr. Michael New of the Charlotte Lozier Institute breaks them down and makes them make sense.

Be Encouraged
“The call to be disciples of Jesus who live out our faith each day and, in so doing, work to make disciples of others, has never been greater … We need to boldly proclaim what God has done for us in Christ. Not in a spirit of superiority or power, but in a posture of love and grace.” –Bishop Dan Selbo, North American Lutheran Church

See Also
Marriage: Conforming Couples to Christ’s Image
Marriage: Conforming Couples to Christ’s Image

Love is not a red, red rose at all. It is work — hard, hard work. It endures sacrifice and pain for the sake of someone else. It subdues one’s own desires, opinions and needs, being patient and kind, not resentful or angry or insisting on one’s own rights or way. It does not live for pleasure and satisfaction or self-actualization. Christian love is defined by Christ and follows His example as confessed in 1 Corinthians 13. Christian love lives entirely for someone else.

Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up: March for Life
Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up: March for Life

Luther grounded his understanding of civil government and its duties toward God in creation, teaching that rulers are a type of father. In the Large Catechism he wrote, “Thus we have two kinds of fathers presented in this commandment, fathers in blood and fathers in office, or those to whom belongs the care of the family, and those to whom belongs the care of the country. Besides these there are yet spiritual fathers.” Luther recognized the universal responsibility of all mankind to acknowledge and serve God in accordance with one’s particular station. All earthly rulers, whether of Israelite or Gentile nations, were expected to follow God’s Word. If they did not serve the Lord, like emperors Nero and Domitian, they would be held guilty by Him. Luther maintained a consistently positive estimation of Constantine and other Christian rulers throughout his writings — especially their aid in resisting the grasping tyranny of the papacy. He held up David and the other faithful kings of Israel as examples of the universal duty of rulers to acknowledge and serve God.

Constantine the Great: Hero of Luther and Exemplary Christian Ruler
Constantine the Great: Hero of Luther and Exemplary Christian Ruler

Luther grounded his understanding of civil government and its duties toward God in creation, teaching that rulers are a type of father. In the Large Catechism he wrote, “Thus we have two kinds of fathers presented in this commandment, fathers in blood and fathers in office, or those to whom belongs the care of the family, and those to whom belongs the care of the country. Besides these there are yet spiritual fathers.” Luther recognized the universal responsibility of all mankind to acknowledge and serve God in accordance with one’s particular station. All earthly rulers, whether of Israelite or Gentile nations, were expected to follow God’s Word. If they did not serve the Lord, like emperors Nero and Domitian, they would be held guilty by Him. Luther maintained a consistently positive estimation of Constantine and other Christian rulers throughout his writings — especially their aid in resisting the grasping tyranny of the papacy. He held up David and the other faithful kings of Israel as examples of the universal duty of rulers to acknowledge and serve God.

Praying Colors, Morning and Evening
Praying Colors, Morning and Evening

I’ve also sometimes struggled, I’ll confess, to reconcile my own civic duty to honor our nation’s flag with my Christian call to “fear, love and trust in God above all things.” The melody blaring from a speaker mounted high upon a tower reminds me eerily of church bells “chiming and calling” Christians to Sunday worship (LSB 645), or of a muezzin summoning Muslims to daily prayer. Although colors isn’t meant to be a spiritual act of devotion, the striking resemblance it bears to such ancient religious practices is hard to ignore. 

Beware the Lemmings
Beware the Lemmings

Social media today functions much like the volatile crowds Gustave Le Bon described over a century ago when he observed, “Crowds are only capable of thinking in images, and are only to be impressed by images. It is by images alone that great leaders can be followed.” In the digital world, people aren’t working through truth with patience and reason; they’re reacting to symbols, slogans, memes, and bite-sized videos that bypass the mind and stir the gut and emotions.

Chilling to the Bone
Chilling to the Bone

"We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism." Thus far Mamdani, whose words are chilling to the bone. Now we might counter that rugged individualism is a whole lot better than collectivism, and we'd be right. Collectivism means you lose your identity, you become a number, a statistic, a victim, and a ward of the state that cares not a whit about you.

 Collectivism has the warmth of a Siberian gulag, a dark North Korean night. The fact that Mamdani can get away with such rhetoric, even after Communism has taken the lives of tens of millions of people, is frustrating.

The Blessings of Success and Power
The Blessings of Success and Power

What's a blessing, and what's a curse? When it comes to earthly matters, it's often not clear. Success can be a killer, especially when it comes with fame. Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston, Elvis Presley, for sure, and a whole host of late 60s heroes who died at the age of 27. The Beatles benefited from being four, so were less susceptible to lackeys.

Demanding Your Highest Allegiance
Demanding Your Highest Allegiance

There is no trouble too large for the government to solve, no concern too small for it to care about. Such words might be spoken of God, for whom nothing is impossible. Have you trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged. What a friend we have in Mamdani?

Luther’s “Wise Turk” Quote That He Didn’t Say
Luther’s “Wise Turk” Quote That He Didn’t Say

We are hearing more and more that famous quotation from Martin Luther: “I’d rather be ruled by a wise Turk than by a foolish Christian.”  The problem is, no one has been able to find that famous quotation in any of the voluminous works of Luther.  It appears that the quotation is apocryphal.  I suspect it may have originated as an attempt to explain the implications of Luther’s doctrine of the Two Kingdoms, as in, “Luther would have rather been ruled by a wise Turk. . .” which then was recalled as “Luther said he would rather have been. . . .” Read more from Dr. Gene Edward Veith here.

2026: Restoring Faith, Realizing Protections
2026: Restoring Faith, Realizing Protections

As 2025 ends, as faithful Lutherans, there is much to be thankful for as we have seen many positive developments for faith and freedom.

Pregnancy resource centers are booming while Planned Parenthood clinics are closing their doors. It looks like we are beginning to see a spiritual revival among young adults as they reject the emptiness of the culture they see around them. And several states have passed common-sense age verification laws, upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, to protect innocent children from accessing graphic pornography online.

So, what is ahead for 2026? What policy advancements can we make to continue this positive momentum back towards faith and freedom?

Dark Days in Illinois
Dark Days in Illinois

Today is a dark day in the history of Illinois. Governor Pritzker—of whom every LCMS pastor in Illinois prays for each week and will continue to do so—signed into law . . . the “End-of-Life Options for Terminally Ill Patients Act,” granting terminally ill patients who have received a prognosis of six-months to live or less the ability to receive a pill in order to end their own lives.

Throwback: Nothing Can Overpower the Persevering Blessing of Christmas
Throwback: Nothing Can Overpower the Persevering Blessing of Christmas

A blessed Christmas to all of you “for today (many years ago) in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger” (Luke 2:11-12). The life, death and resurrection of Jesus came as a blessing to the world even though the world didn’t deserve it and, even worse, was unreceptive to receiving Him as the gift that He was for them (see John 1:10-13).

We Are Slaves of Christ
We Are Slaves of Christ

We are slaves of Christ, but earthly slavery is not a good thing. Slavery is an institution of the fallen world. I am led to understand that even today there are fifty million people living as the property of others. I'm not sure what would happen if we added to that number those enslaved in various systems like North Korea. But bonds and fetters are not to be celebrated or commended, and if someone might say that it is a good thing, I have never seen anyone volunteer to be on slavery's receiving end. This is not to be a Pollyanna or to hide our heads in the sand. Throughout history, when one nation has conquered another, slavery has resulted. There will always be wars and rumors of wars, and life is messy. And yet slavery is not a good thing. And we can say so without losing sight of the fact that we as Christians are slaves of God, even as we are His children.

40 Days for Life
40 Days for Life

[Weeks ago], a group from Concordia Theological Seminary, Fort Wayne, gathered on the sidewalk that runs by the local Planned Parenthood. There were perhaps 15 of us in all, but what a mighty and faith-filled people. A young couple, a father with three or four little ones in tow, a student from Germany, another from Australia.

 

What of it? Things change, and prayers are answered. Just as few predicted the fall of the Soviet Union and the crumbling of the Berlin Wall, we were supposed to think that Roe v. Wade was set in stone, a law surer than the Ten Commandments. Stare decisis, we heard ad nauseam. But in step six wise and courageous judges, and we got the Dobbs decision. Now, that didn't happen by accident. It was a matter of persistent. Persistent prayer, persistent marching, persistent lobbying and electioneering. Why bother? 60 million little ones who have lost their lives. And still counting.

From Throwing Rocks to Linking Arms
From Throwing Rocks to Linking Arms

America has changed dramatically since the 1950s and 1960s. Back then, in the years after World War II, it was a halcyon time for religion in this country. Christianity was assumed in society; it was the default setting. Christians were denominationally focused; fights largely occurred within the faith. Now, the threat comes not only from within but also from without, from secularists and zealots determined to belittle Christianity and, if it were possible, bring about its downfall.

The times we live in call for a different mentality and a different strategy. They call for Christians of all stripes to band together to fight an enemy that seeks to curtail our influence in society and even — it’s hard to avoid this conclusion — completely silence our voice in the civic sphere.

In Defense of Giving Thanks
In Defense of Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving takes a lot of flak these days. Christmas haters are called “Scrooges” or “Grinches,” but haters of Thanksgiving are considered socially conscious and realistic. For many Americans, the fourth Thursday in November is an annoying holiday with racist origins — an excuse to force innocent citizens to gorge on poorly prepared, outdated foods while fraternizing with uncongenial relatives. It is, moreover, a day of hypocritical tension between trite demands to “be grateful” versus a Black Friday rush through the mall. Dismissively labeled “T-day” on social media, Thanksgiving is becoming mere no-man’s-land stuck between the two towers of Halloween and Christmas.

Thanksgiving by Presidential Proclamation?
Thanksgiving by Presidential Proclamation?

Thanksgiving worship services, held at the request of the government, seem strange in modern America. Some American Lutherans have wondered if this is appropriate. Our government allows the murder of babies. How can its leaders ask us to pray and give thanks? Others have questioned whether or not the annual request itself is a violation of the separation of Church and State, and still others have suggested that it might be a misunderstanding of the two kingdoms.

Getting Involved
Getting Involved

Is it alright for Christians to be involved with politics?

The Bible contains no specific command that either requires or forbids Christian involvement with politics. However, through the prophet Jeremiah, God teaches His people that they should, “Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf” (Jer. 29:57). In other places, God teaches that Christians should obey and pray for those in positions of civil authority (Matt. 22:21; Rom. 13:17; Titus 3:1; 1 Pet. 2:13). These passages, together with the general biblical teaching that Christians should care for and promote the welfare of their neighbor, would suggest that Christians should participate in the process of deciding how we, as a nation, shall live.

Losing Their Religion
Losing Their Religion

Having lost their religion, they start a new one. Folks who no longer read their Bible, or believe it, begin to create substitutes. I just heard of some crazed figure predicting that the Lord would come back in September. Of course, he could have, or he might come in November, or in 1000 years, but no one knows the day or hour, only the Father. And yet, then later in the day I see a 1990 video of Meryl Streep warning us about global warming, and calamities that would come in a "very short time." By the year 2000, it would be too late. Since then, global warming has turned into climate change, but the apocalyptic fever still runs high with a fervor that would make a Bible belt Pentecostal blush.

Gay Marriage and the Nanny State
Gay Marriage and the Nanny State

A good friend suggests that putting an end to gay marriage would be just another example of the nanny state, by which he means government overreach and intrusion into the private lives of our people. It's a cry for freedom from a libertarian point of view. In other news, I see that just 6 percent of Gen Z women think that personal success includes having children. Add to that the fact that a quarter of all children live in a home without dad. Add to that the fact that Senator Kaine, representative of many on the left, said that our rights come not from God but from government.

 

What to make of it? This summer I read The Communist Manifesto for the first time. Marxism is predicated on the idea that the state should have precedence over the family. Marxists see strong families as an obstacle to the state's influence. Homes are an example of private property, and family wealth promoted the practice of inheritance and intergenerational wealth. A traditional conservative says that God comes first, then family, and then the nation, which is not to be equated with the government. The Marxist seeks to put an end to all of that.

_______ Nationalism
_______ Nationalism

How should we fill in the blank? Traditionally Christian nations have a spotty record, but compared to what? A Hindu nation, where people are divided according to castes? A Muslim nation, where women are treated like property? A Communist nation that leads to wholesale slaughter? The Spanish Conquistador might be faulted, but consider the world of the Aztecs, the mass human sacrifice.

 

Then shall it be a secular nation? Is our nation somehow worse for having "In God we trust" on our money," for saying "under God" in the pledge? But is there a neutrality to strive for? Vacuums are soon filled, and we end up with cultural Marxism in which children are given puberty blockers, then hormones, leading almost inevitably to mutilating surgery. We end up with the destruction of the family. But this secularism is not neutral, to each his own. In some states, a parent can lose his child if they do not affirm their children's gender delusion, a delusion often encouraged by the secular state.

The Widows and the Fatherless: End “Gay Marriage”
The Widows and the Fatherless: End “Gay Marriage”

Psalm 68:5 reminds us that God acts as a father to the fatherless. In the great hymn "Praise the Almighty, My Soul, Adore Him," we sing, "He helps his children in distress, the widows and the fatherless." Do we still care about such things? As a society? In America, one in four children live in a home without dad. 40 percent of children are born to unwed mothers. That's what happens when marriage is redefined to suit adult desires. Some don't know their dads, others live in broken homes. Divorce leads mostly to kids with mom, dad gone.  

Wake Up! Paganism Isn’t New, but It Is Rising
Wake Up! Paganism Isn’t New, but It Is Rising

We’ve heard it said lately that what we’re seeing in our culture is sin — and that’s true. But let’s not stop there. What we’re seeing is not simply a lack of virtue in a particular political party or a few mentally ill individuals making poor moral choices. What we are witnessing is a culture-wide descent into paganism—the same kind of paganism the prophets condemned in the Old Testament. And mark this: it is not new. Instead, it is ancient and dark. And it is very definable.

The prophets—men like Amos, Micah, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah — weren’t confused about the character of the nations around them. They saw it plainly.

Charlie Kirk’s Assassination: A Two Kingdom Call to Action
Charlie Kirk’s Assassination: A Two Kingdom Call to Action

As I’ve shared online, for the last few days I’ve been laboring to write a response to the political assassination of Charlie Kirk, trying to put words together that express a proper response to the shock and horror of the evil violence perpetrated against a Christian believer who understood the limitations of politics and the beautiful salvation message that only God could accomplish in Jesus. A person who was willing to dialogue and debate all comers in the hope of demonstrating the truth of what he said and believed. He was proud of the foundational principles of individual liberty, religious freedom, limited government, educational freedom/choice, and the importance of faith, family, freedom to live self-governed lives . . . and for that he was executed. That should truly shock us all to our core.

The Secret to a Joyous Marriage
The Secret to a Joyous Marriage

After finishing college at Seward, my wife Kathy and I served as lay missionaries in a remote Cree Indian village in Ontario, Canada. One day we decided we’d go for a snowmobile ride. I pulled the machine in front of our little shack. I glanced behind me to see Kathy hopping aboard, and I took off. I headed down the skidoo trail on the frozen lake on a bright clear, frigid day, chatting happily with my dear wife (or so I thought). I had made it nearly a half-mile before I realized that no one was talking back. Suddenly I did a hard double take and turned to see the empty seat right behind me. Looking back at the distant village, she was nowhere to be seen. Turns out I had taken off just as she straddled the seat, but before she’d sat down. . . . We laughed about it then, and still do to this very day.

Raising Children in an Age of Nothing
Raising Children in an Age of Nothing

It’s not a happy thing to read that so many of our countrymen are “nones,” belonging to no church and adhering to no way of paying homage to God. How do we raise children in a no-land, where their deepest beliefs will be met with what’s sometimes more discouraging than enmity, with the shrug of indifference and incomprehension?

I think we must bear in mind the character of this nothing. It is not deep — it cannot conceivably be deep — but it is broad, like a vast slick of muddy water and wreckage after a flood, shallow as a few inches in most places, but lapping at every post and foundation in sight.

The LCMS and Euthanasia
The LCMS and Euthanasia

At the 1995 synodical convention, the Synod delegates adopted resolution 6-02 titled "To Speak Out against Legalization of Assisted Suicide" (euthanasia) which reads as follows:

Whereas, The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod affirms the sanctity of human life and recognizes the reality of human suffering; and

Whereas, Any attempt to legalize assisted suicide is an affront to the Lord, who gives life, and opens the door for abuse and future legislation that would deny the freedom of many; and

Things Worth Fighting For
Things Worth Fighting For

America is a gift. Rights are God given, based on the inherent dignity of man. The horrible theory of evolution undermines this truth. We are likewise told that rights are granted by earthly governments. But the created order is such that man bears the image of God, even fallen. This truth is seen already in an ultrasound. In a sense, these rights are negative. I do not have a right to take your property, but then, you have no right to take mine. A man may not be imprisoned except for compelling reasons. The family comes before the state, and therefore children belong not to the state, but to the father and mother. The right to bear arms is simply an extension of the truth that I have a right to defend my family and my home. No one is obligated to listen to me, but I have a right to free speech. No one is obligated to give me stuff, but I have the liberty to earn it.

Our Founding Fathers
Our Founding Fathers

Our Founding Fathers are indeed the fathers of all Americans. DEI taught us to despise them, to concentrate on their faults, to think of ourselves as somehow more enlightened. Critical theory is all about destruction, about seeing through something so that you can no longer see the thing itself. DEI is the philosophy of the scoff and sneer.

But as Americans, we do well to think on the God of providence and to celebrate this day with thanksgiving. Now, mind you, I honor all peoples as they sing their anthems, giving thanks for their own special heritage. But our heritage is a cornucopia, a legacy that we are called to live up to.

The Magdeburg Confession
The Magdeburg Confession

475 years ago, Magdeburg, Germany, was under siege by her own emperor, Charles V. It was the last Lutheran city remaining in Germany only four years after the death of Martin Luther. At issue was the preaching of the Gospel and the administration of the Sacraments. The highest authority in the land was demanding that the city churches re-institute Roman worship practices.

The city officers faced a difficult choice. Should they abandon the scriptural doctrine and practice restored by the Lutheran Reformation? Or should they take up arms against the God-ordained temporal authority? The pastors and theologians of the city penned the Magdeburg Confession to instruct the city councilmen of their God-given duty.

LCRL Staff
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